Filed under: Biodegradable, Bush, Chris Jordan, Lindsay Lohan, Obama, green, more fucking stupidity
This picture is my moment of Zen today:
Freckles go south for the winter! Lindsay Lohan continues her descent (ascent maybe?!?) to full-on pornography. Lindsay considers offer from Playboy?
And on a more ironic, but less hilarious note: Bush Criticizes Obama on Foreign Policy. You know, i’ve really held back from ripping President Bush on this blog* but i just can’t do it anymore. What a complete and total fucking moron. Yeah, because referring to our previously non-adversarial enemies as the “Axis of Evil” in a State of the Union address is totally sound reasoning and carrying out pre-emptive strikes on autonomous countries based on faulty and irresponsible data is a WAAAYYY better foreign policy strategy than getting your picture taken and having a candid conversation with Raul Castro. If Cuba all of a sudden feels empowered enough to launch a military strike because the U.S. President took a picture with their president then i’m pretty sure we could withstand the attack from their life-raft armada and floating door Navy. Thank you President Bush, you have inspired us all with your BRILLIANT Hatfields vs McCoys foreign policy strategy. I have seen the light and will now vote for my war-mongering, veteran grandfather instead of the guy who doesn’t mind talking a bit before he pulls the trigger…What a friggin’ jackass.
And my favorite part is where it says “In the lively 46-minute session, during which Bush bantered with reporters, he delivered a forceful plea…” Has anyone ever seen Bush “banter”? Studder maybe, but not banter…and the only thing he’s ever said forcefully was, “It’s not my bedtime yet! I want to keep playing Playstation! I’m on level 6 …level 6!!!”
*may not have held back
Did you know that when you throw biodegradable materials into the garbage, they never biodegrade? (pdf) News to me as well.
I’ve been checking out a lot of social and political art lately…you’ll appreciate this:
http://www.chrisjordan.com/ (click on Intolerable Beauty)
The California Department of Corrections (not the real one, this group defaces billboards in genius ways.)
The Billboard Liberation Front (i’m thinking about joining…)
What in the world does a 72-year-old man do to piss a 20-year-old girl off this much?!? (oh yeah, i forgot, females between the ages of 12 and 22 are fucking nuts. I say this unapologetically.)
And as always, my God is better than your God.
It is sad to me that both of these stories happened in Colorado…
(Also, if you haven’t checked out Sam’s post on Bush’s trip to Africa, it’s a must read.)
On my iGoogle page, i receive quotes each day because i am both profound and a snob. The few today were especially poignant.
There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don’t know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.
– Kurt Vonnegut
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
– EB White
– Elbert Hubbard
Filed under: Okkervil River, The Killers, The Shins, Vampire Weekend, albums
Today i’m listening to:
The Shins – Oh, Inverted World (the album with the songs from Garden State…)
Okkervil River – The Stage Names (one of the better first-time listens i’ve had in a while…i think i’ll like this album a lot)
The Killers – Sam’s Town (This album is really growing on me since i listened to it a few weeks ago..i think the pressure of the sophomore album got to people, but it’s good.)
Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend (These guys are apparently the new indie band of choice, having been dubbed band of the year by Spin Magazine, despite the year only being a few weeks old…i’ve listened to it and it is decent, but i don’t know how much more of these indie bands du jour i can take…It’s all the same strange intentionally ironic, off-key, synth driven pretention over and over…we’ll see how long they stick.)
Filed under: commute, confusion, construction, more fucking stupidity, randomness, traffic, white people
Despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage…or at least that’s what the Arizona Dept. of Transportation seems to think… Today, between my house and the freeway (a total of a half-mile), traffic was cut down to one lane for “construction.” So it took 12 minutes to get the half mile and then the double lane onto the on-ramp was also cut down to one lane for another 8 minutes. And then suddenly the cones ended and we were allowed to merge back into two lanes and continue on with our day. During this 20 minute excursion, here’s how many trucks, backhoes, earth movers, jackhammers, construction workers and orange reflective vests i saw: 0
Do you ever get the feeling that these guys wake up early, set up a bunch of cones in some arbitrary place and just hide in the bushes drinking coffee and laughing at all the white-collar stiffs running through the maze like big rats in a lab test? Because i do.
Yesterday, the U.S. Military shot down a spy satellite using an $11 million rocket…they said it was because the fuel might be hazardous to people’s health if it landed on earth. First of all, since when has our government given a shit about anyone’s health?!? Second, it was a spy satellite…something tells me that they were worried about just a bit more than the fuel.
There is a new blog – which i noticed a few weeks ago but is now in the top 5 of wordpress blogs – entitled Stuff White People Like. At first i thought it would be some hilarious take on lame things that white people do, written by a clever group of non-white people. But, after looking at it a bit, it is written by a white person and while sometimes the posts are right on, sometimes they’re completely off. Also, the comments by the people reading this blog are an amalgamation of confusion…there are black people that think it’s hilarious, white people who think it’s hilarious, white people who think it’s innacurate, white people who are totally offended, white urban hipsters who aren’t sure whether to laugh at themselves or be totally emo about it, and people who just plain don’t get what the point is…and i guess my point here is that i absolutely don’t know what to make of this blog at all…so, read it, and tell me what to make of it in the comments.
And while we’re on the subject…can you imagine the drama it would create if someone created the opposite of this blog? As in, Stuff Black People Like…and wrote stereotypical posts about Jay-Z, White Girls and Spinning Rims?!? I can actually hear Jesse Jackson screaming at me on MSNBC now…
Alright, that’s enough for now…i’m off to set up stuffblackpeoplelike.wordpress.com and wait for the NAACP to call.
Filed under: Pebble Mine, meat is delicious, more fucking stupidity, quickie
I’m in utter shock right now because this morning i read an article about some big greedy companies that are actually doing the right thing for the environment. Holy fucking shit, right?!? It was actual, legitimate good news for once…and i am at a total friggin loss as to how i should handle it. I don’t want to start getting optimistic and inevitably upset myself but jeez…this could actually mean something. This could be the start of progressive thinking, this could mean we’re evolving as a culture. I can’t remember the last time i felt this way. Tiffany & Co., Helzberg and Fortunoff Jewelers Oppose Alaskan Pebble Mine
And then Kansas goes and does something like this….and completely ruins it for me.
And not to be outdone, Kentucky makes its move in the race to the bottom of the evolutionary chain. (actually, i’m not sure who looks dumber here…the representative who proposed it or PETA for opposing it. I mean, i’m all about being humane to animals, but fried chicken is delicious.)
And after an hour of looking around…that’s the only stuff that happened all day. Boring.
Ok, one more thing…after all the Roger Clemens bullshit this week it dawns on me why Congress seems so familiar with him…an overgrown man child from TEXAS with an illogical and over-inflated sense of his own value to society…where have i seen that before? Oh yeah….
And here’s a shocker…they’re family friends.
(Is there anything i won’t be a cynical asshole about? I say no.)
Here are some Valentines for our Federal Government.
Yesterday was a great day for inventing new words:
Vegangelicals are people who judge your value as a person by what you eat.
And of course, Roger Clemens, who made perfect sense while testifying in front of Congress:
“Once again, Mr. Congressman, I think [Pettitte] misremembers (Ed note: Not a word) the conversation that we had. Andy and I’s relationship was close enough to know that if I would have known that he had done HGH, which I now know, if he was knowingly knowing (ed note. HAHA!) that I had taken HGH, we would have talked about the subject. He’d have come to me to ask me about the effects of it.”
I think my freshmen year roommate had one of these on loan from the Russian Mafia. I shit you not.
And you can’t beat the Onion:
Shaq Terrified Of Phoenix Suns After Reading About Supernovas
Happy Valentine’s Day…and in the words of Rodney Dangerfield (at the :26 mark)
Filed under: ntd
Not every scandal has to end in the word -gate…STOP IT.
You know why The Watergate Scandal was called Watergate?!? Because it happened at the friggin Watergate Hotel! There was no other reason. The is no ancient latin translation, there is no historical translation of the suffix “gate” meaning scandal…it just happened to take place at that hotel….and now we’ve had to suffer through the most ridiculous proliferation of every issue – from the smallest celebrity bullshit (kinda NSFW), to the biggest political issues – being called “something-gate.” Even Seth Godin, a marketing genius who typically despises everything that is repeated, overused and unoriginal, is using it…today! It’s annoying and it needs to die.
What if Watergate had happened at the Howard Johnson? Would we be calling the recent Patriots scandal , SpyJohnson? (I wish.)
Filed under: Saul Williams, abortion, arizona sucks, more fucking stupidity
License plates have always been at the forefront of the abortion debate. ”You know what? I was on my way to have this pregnancy terminated, but the fundamental Christian that just cut me off — you know, the one with the Bush/Cheney 04 bumper sticker still on the car — had this pro-life license plate, so i totally changed my mind.”
Maricopa County Decides that Advertising can Clean the Air, which will totally work better than, oh i don’t know, taxing people for not carpooling or mandating cleaner standards. Everyone knows advertising totally works.
And even though this doesn’t have anything to do with Arizona, it seemed appropriate in this space:
Sunday Bloody Sunday… a stunning cover
I watched part of the Grammy’s last night and jesus that’s a terrible show. In no way does that reflect the music i’ve been listened to in 2007…maybe that’s obvious, but it kind of caught me by surprise.
Roy Scheider — the police chief from Jaws – has died. Heaven is gonna need a bigger boat…
The Writers Strike is over!! Now i just wonder which of my favorite shows will never come back…The Office will be back, but will it be good again? The Big Bang Theory was my favorite new show but i’m not sure it has the legs to come back…it’s sad because it’s an intelligent show and i honestly think that America is too stupid to appreciate it. House will be back (mainly because they smartly delayed the 2nd half of last season to come back last week…) but they need bring back Dr. Cameron so i can really enjoy it again….rawr….
What shows are you looking forward to seeing again?
I don’t have many links today since i blew my proverbial wad last Friday, so we’ll just talk about today’s albums.
The official debut of the NTD files will be this week so stay tuned.
Today’s Albums:
Jack Johnson – Sleep Through The Static (This is my first time listening through this album and while it’s good, it’s very typical Jack Johnson fare…don’t get me wrong, i like him, but it just sounds like everything else he’s ever done.)
Matt Costa – Unfamiliar Faces (If you haven’t listened to him, start now before he gets very, very popular, very soon. Griffin House too…seriously, what are you people waiting for?)
Arctic Monkeys – Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What i’m Not (this is a really funky album and one that i totally have to be in the mood for but i’m leaning towards “good” on it. It’s in the same vein as Bloc Party, The Strokes, british-euro pop rock, etc.)
