Spencer and Heidi are going to Iraq! OMG!
Hey Spencer, smile for the Camera!
(But seriously, who the fuck are Spencer and Heidi?)
The dumbest thing i’ve seen today that is… I received this email from a co-worker…they are predictions on what will happen to America if Obama is elected President. Some of this borders on absolute madness. It would make you laugh, if it wasn’t so amazingly depressing. Without further adieu…(my comments in italics after.)
To close my screed, I want to leave you with some JM predictions in the event the junior Senator from Illinois becomes President and, especially, if the House and Senate are veto proof.
1). Strict new gun laws will be enacted even though he promised he would not.
2). The phrase “In God We Trust” will be removed from all currency. (Automatically? Just because a president said so? Does this asshole know how much time it takes to put money in circulation?)
3). He will back away from his pledge to Israel and leave them to the wolves of Islam. (Israel has one of the world’s strongest militaries… that why the”wolves of Islam” have been throwing rocks for the last 40 years. Israel will be just fine.)
4). Hillary Clinton will be named to the Supreme Court. (Really? Is Obama going to kill Anton Scalia with his bare hands to create the opening?)
5). Tax rates will return to their highest levels in 30 years. (How? Presidents don’t make the budget. Like 543 people get their say in this.)
6). The capital gains tax will be at least double current levels. (Again, how?)
7). Retired Army General Wesley Clark will be named Secretary of Defense. (Oh god forbid we give a general and former presidential candidate a position in the defense department. That actually might lead to logic in intelligence in foreign policy…gasp!)
8). The borders will be ‘basically open’ to all come. Especially those from the Middle East and South America. (“Basically open”..as opposed to complicatedly open? And what border do we share with the Middle East? Baltimore? It’s Baltimore isn’t it?)
9). Amnesty will be granted to all illegal’s now in the U.S.A. regardless of status or even gang members (MS-13). (Obama: “My fellow American Bloods and Crips…you have been granted amnesty…please report to the DMV for your official gang member passports and keep it real. Fo Sheezy, and good night.”)
10). The war in Iraq will be brought to an abrupt end, and the results will be tragic, and the consequences to our military will be devastating. (I can’t even make fun of this one…)
I realize that my predictions may not sit too well with some people, and the best we could all hope for is that I am totally wrong. Any bets?
Jerry Molen
Yeah Jerry, i’ve got a bet…I’ll bet a million dollars that you’re a fucking moron. And i’m willing to lay odds that the actual Jerry Molen (Hollywood producer) is not the guy sitting in his grandma’s living room typing this with one hand, masturbating to the O’Reilly Factor and asphyxiating himself with Tucker Carlson’s bow tie with the other.
I weep for our future.
Sunday night, i watched The Discovery Channel’s new mini-series, “When We Left Earth” about the history of NASA and our experience of exploring outer-space. It was captivating, moving and absolutely terrific in HD. I couldn’t be more excited to watch the rest of the series.
After the show was over, i got into a conversation with my roommate, who is a computer engineer for a major aeronautical company — he basically works on guidance systems for missiles all day — and we talked about how amazing it was that the engineers, scientists and astronauts for NASA had no precedents to work from, zero research about space travel (because it hadn’t been done before…at all) and did the majority of their calculations and design work with pen and paper. They just had to sit in a room together and try and figure out the best way, and then test it. A perfect example of this would be during the Mercury missions, the precursor to Apollo, when they were trying to simulate zero gravity with astronauts attached to ropes and pulleys…and Buzz Aldrin — an avid scuba diver — said, “Hey guys, why don’t we do this in a pool?” And some of the brightest minds of that generation said, “Duh.” The whole thing was an amazing example of American intelligence, cooperation and ingenuity.
Of course, the whole project was initiated out of a military need to stay ahead of the Soviet Union in our technology and weapons capabilities. Anyone who thinks we just wanted to explore the next frontier is stupid…the reason for our space program had nothing to do with science and everything to do with being able to stop missile launches from Russsia, return fire with our own missiles and spy on them. That’s it.
Beyond that, JFK said — and i’m paraphrasing –, “Start studying math and science so we can put a man on the moon in this decade.” We sent Alan Shepard into orbit on May 5th, 1961 and landed Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong on the moon on July 20th, 1969…just 8 years later. With no historical precedent, no concrete knowledge of whether space would suck the eyeballs out of your skull, no idea if zero gravity would cause your blood to boil and not a single clue as to whether the devil himself lived on the moon. Seriously, i’m not exaggerating. We didn’t know. How could we? We just had to try and see what happened. And we succeeded. (Contrast this with Bush’s “Vision for Space Exploration” which in 2004 stated that we would be back on the moon by 2018… Really George? It’s going to take 14 years to do something that it only took us 8 years to do in the first place? With 3,000 times the experience and technology they had? Moron.)
Fast forward 40 years (40!!!), we’re currently involved in a war in one of the major oil-producing countries and regions in the entire world. If we had learned anything, ANYTHING! from our past lessons, we’d realize the power these countries have over us and we’d react, not by attacking them, but by pushing our own technology and education systems to put our country in a position in which that region of the world would no longer have power over us. We’d create a community that would try things that had never been tried before, we’d throw billions of dollars at it and we’d put our most courageous, intelligent and scientific minds together and work together until we came up with something that gave us the upper hand in the world again. I’m not talking about reducing our dependence on foreign oil, i’m talking about completely eliminating it. I’m talking about once again leading the world in technology (and scaring the shit out of everyone else in the process.).
We put a man on the moon in 8 years back in the 1960s! And you’re telling me that we can’t make a decent electric car? We’re still burning coal for power? We’re getting worse gas mileage than we were 20 years ago? Our best solution is to drill in the oceans and Alaska, in the very places that we need pristine in order for the human species to survive? Are you kidding?
What in the sweet fuck has happened to us?
(and this isn’t the first time i’ve made this point…i just found this post from Oct. 12th, 2006)
In a year when the two front-runners for President of the United States of America are a woman and a black man…a lot of people said that would happen when hell froze over.
Um, guys?…I think it just might have.
Ed. Note: For all the Vox authors, i posted this there as well.
A friend of mine in Charleston, South Carolina is an orthodontist and one of his ortho friends recently shared a letter from a solider in Iraq, Adam Snyder, who was a former patient. I thought he said some things from a point of view very few of us consider:
All,
Things are going very well here. We actually find ourselves bored some days, because enemy activity has been low. This is a good thing, though not much fun. It seems the new policies of reconciliation, working with local Iraqi leaders and empowering them to tackle the problems, is really paying off. The bottom line is that a “victory” is in site. Unfortunately, “victory” is two-fold. One, the nation must be secure from external enemies: foreign fighters from Iran, Saudi Arabia, Syria, etc. This is the part we are doing well at. The second part is creating a self-sufficient Iraqi government. This is the part we seem to be failing quite exceptionally at. At every level of government, corruption is at a heinous level. I’m not sure what the answer is, but it will take a strong leader with an iron fist to stamp out this mess. The U.S. often forces the Iraqis to treat problems with a western mindset. Example: your Oil Ministry is corrupt. The Iraqi answer may be to execute the Oil Minister and his key allies, while imprisoning the rest. We do not allow that, and instead force the Iraqi government to move key officials, and issue them “stern” warnings, which does nothing.One thing we must admit: Saddam ran a pretty tight ship. Things might not have been ultra-efficient, but things got done. The majority of the problems in Iraq now are our, the U.S. government’s, fault. It is utterly ridiculous to see so many Senators and Representatives on the national news condemning the leaders of Iraq for their ineptitude. Where they really should point that finger is at themselves and their colleagues. I would be curious to see the results of a basic quiz given to Congress. Name Iraq and all of its neighbors. Explain the difference between Sunni and Shia. Explain the formation of the nation of Iraq. Explain how Al Qaeda came to power.
I imagine these gentlemen would not attack Iraq with such zeal if the American public knew how little Congress knew about the matters they decide on. Yes, I am talking way above my pay grade, but the absurdity of our upper echelons of government is to an intolerable level, and I feel it is my job as an American citizen and a leader of its soldiers to educate the population, whose rights I purportedly protect. The approach of the election brings an opportunity to make change, both good and bad. Republican or Democratic, I don’t care. It just takes an educated, experienced, moral person, who can be honest with themselves and their constituents. I know, I ask the impossible. I think it is appalling how few men of Congress, especially the Presidential candidates, have any military service, especially when the Iraq War and the War on Terror is the biggest focal point.
I’ll get off my soap box.
You all continue to be very supportive and I thank you. We’ve gotten a good supply of power tools, food, hygiene products, and letters. My soldiers are quite amazed!
Attached are some lighter pictures. We’ve started playing Dodgeball on Wednesday nights and we have some ridiculous outfits. Also, my buddy, CPT Mike Sykes and I, took a couple pictures for our Christmas cards we’ll be sending out soon.
God bless.
Adam
This e-mail was sent on December 1st…on December 5th, Capt. Snyder and 2 of his soldiers were killed by a roadside bomb.
Some people call George Carlin a comedian. I’ve always called him a philosopher. Most comedians joke about the surface crap that happens to all of us in real life…ie. peanuts on the plane, life cereal, the Burger King drive-thru (Dane Cook sucks by the way, and his comedy is completely indicative of the increasing stupidity of the American public. Good for him for capitalizing on it though…).
Carlin jokes about the real life stuff too but often he digs a few levels deeper than most. He talks about the stuff we don’t want to hear. Some say that makes him “shocking” but i just think it makes him honest. He has a platform, and a medium that intends to make people look at things in a humorous way that also makes them agree at the same time, and sometimes he uses that medium to make some very serious points. Even the seven words you can’t say on TV, which ended up being a Supreme Court case as vulgar as it is, makes a commentary about what the words are, why some people don’t want you to say them, and why language is so powerful that we actual have to ban some of it…
One of my favorite bits ever is when he’s talking about the power of language and makes the point that in World War I, when a soldier’s nervous system shut down from the strain of fighting, it was called Shell Shock. Tough words…straight to the point…lots of consonants, sounds like something pretty easy to diagnose. Fast forward to Vietnam (and every engagement since) and we’re now calling it Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. We’ve added a hyphen, made it sound medical, and we’ve blamed the victim. The soldiers aren’t shocked anymore, they now have a disorder. They weren’t shocked by something they saw anymore. Something they saw triggered a disorder they already had. Carlin goes on to make the point that if we have kept it at Shell Shock, maybe we wouldn’t treat it so lightly and some of these veterans might actually be getting the help that they need. (Let’s see Mr. Cook take a break from Employee of the Month and talk about war for a while eh? Then we’ll see who’s funny…)
It’s a pretty genius sentiment and i truly wish i had thought of it myself. But since i’ve listened to it about a thousand times, i’ve started noticing little changes in the language that just seem to slip by unnoticed in this PC world of ours (ie. prostitute becoming sex worker…what’s she going to be next? an automated pleasure receptacle?) and trying to call them out when i see them.
I found this story on (who’s surprised?) FoxNews this morning: At Least 21 Dead in Baghdad Homicide Bombing
And this same story on the Wall Street Journal Online: Suicide Bomber Kills at Least 21 Iraqis
Notice any difference? Think that that difference in language doesn’t change the intention of the story? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Filed under: Bush, CIA, Iraq, alqaeda, apocalypse, katrina, more fucking stupidity, war
Wow…a stripper from Texas stole money to buy a Nascar team? Who would have ever thought?
The only thing less surprising than this would have been if a stripper stole money to build an octagon in her backyard and scheduled UFC fights…
Also, i decided not to post on this earlier this week but i will now.
Is it bad that before i was even done reading this headline that i was saying in my mind, “You liar. You’re so completely full of shit.” Shouldn’t one have at least a tiny iota of belief in the words of the President of the United States of America??? I mean, just a little? There’s not a thing this guy could say to me from now until eternity that i would say, “You know what? He’s definitely telling the truth, being completely sincere, and i for one, think he has a point…” Not a single damn thing.
This also pisses me off. Bush uses a fucking HURRICANE metaphor to describe the war?!? Is he serious? And, just like the Britney Spears thing (see below), it’s not like Bush is writing his own speeches, but i can’t help but blame him. At some point, he’s gotta say, “Hey listen guys…i know you’re trying to be dramatic and all but i was asleep in my bed when America’s shores were destroyed by a friggin hurricane and we kinda looked bad… Ix-Nay on the urricane-Hay OKEY DOKE??”
But he doesn’t, so it’s his fault. I mean, i guess the metaphor is apt, he’s fucked up both things simultaneously, so we can compare them together now…
And while we’re at it, is this the only thing the CIA has gotten right in the last decade? Methinks yes.
Bush now wants $300 billion.
I can’t even comment anymore…it’s just beyond words.
We’ll go with the good news, in the form of this hilarious Washington Post headline (please God, let them have done this on purpose): Bush Complains About the Size of CEO Packages. Come on George, didn’t Laura tell you that size doesn’t matter???
Now the bad news:
The U.S. Government has wasted tens of millions in Iraq (i would argue a much, much higher figure, but maybe that’s just me.) and guess what? They’re asking for more!
And also this, which may or may not be true, but i just like severe Left-wing propaganda and feel like my diet is lacking it. (Be careful, there are some very honest and awful pictures of war violence on this site. Not for the faint of heart or those with easy gag reflexes.)
